Hey guys, it's been a while, and I've come a long way since I last wrote a journal. Looks like dt
has too, since this is definitely not the stash writer I remember. This is gonna be a long post, it's been brewing in my mind for almost a year and it's full of muh feels.Soon, I'm gonna leave and forget about deviantART, and I don't want my final journal to be "hey guys check out my vaporware!"
Also you guys deserve a goodbye, you were my family and you supported me through the roughest years of my life.
I've spent a little over a month now helping an amazing little anime community that'll turn the industry on its head, Hummingbird
(which you should join because they're fucking *awesome* and then you should say hi
), with programming and bug-wrangling and general riot-quelling. Before that, I worked on a number of sites, including pomf.se
and the Stormbit IRC Network
But every time I came back to deviantART over the past year or so I've had this sinking feeling inside, which left me disheartened and exhausted. So I avoided coming on dA, and all but disappeared. My visits have been sparse.
Working with Hummingbird and their lively community and great team finally made me understand why: dA feels "dead." I'm not sure what metrics I could pull out to back this up (perhaps MAU vs signups), or if it's all in my head. It's entirely possible that I'm totally wrong here and you're all more alive than ever, but I certainly don't feel that way.
All I know is, I'm so disheartened by going on deviantART that I don't even want to heckle spyed anymore, or even build a competitor
. I'm tired of being angry and annoyed, I'm tired of dealing with a company with identity problems. I just want to speak my peace before I fade off into the dusk. I'm not leaving right now, but the gaps between my visits is getting wider, and one day I'm going to log off and not come back.
I'm gonna leave to grab a pack of smokes and abandon you to be raised by your mother.
I can't honestly say I know why deviantART feels dead for me, but it could have to do with the fact that all my groups are dead (big shoutout to GiveALlamaGetALlama
for finally kicking me out! love you guys forever <3) or that the people who kept me here have stopped coming to #devart as often.
I hope deviantART fixes this, or maybe I need fixing. Or maybe I needed fixing and now I'm fixed? I don't really know. But maybe circumstances will change and someday deviantART will be a good place for me again. I hope so, I have fond memories with you guys. But after 3+ years of watching this place fall apart, I've got very little hope.
My last journal said I wanted to retire from user scripting once I get those final scripts out. I still want to do this, especially releasing EmoteCloud 2, before I leave. Dunno if I'll finish, but it's all open-source and you have my blessing to complete my stuff and release it (or send a pull request and I'll come back to release it). In fact, I'll add another thing: if you want to adopt any of my open-source projects, you have my permission to use the branding too, no need to ask.
I'll release that all into the public domain for you guys. Take good care of them, kay? There's a bit of my soul in each of those scripts and designs. I feel like Voldemort.
Additionally, I'm going to give all my points to somebody I trust (not sure who yet) to give away as they see fit. It's not fair to have them fester in an empty account while others could make use of them.
PS - If anyone wants to contact me once I'm no longer around, hit me up on skype, I'm "nuckchorris0" on there. Just tell me how I know you (dA username I'll remember you by) and I'll accept your request
PPS - I may have teared up a little while writing this, you were all so precious to me, and you really did help me when I had shitty times... do keep in touch, okay?
PPPS - yes I intend to finish all my scripts and stuff as final gifts to the community before I go. More on that in a future journal, I guess? heh
PPPPS - thanks for reading all of this holy shit this post came out super long